Boundaries
It seems like one thing I'm learning through this process is that I'm not really that tough. I'm not like a strong sky scraper pushing back against the wind. I'm more like a willow weed, very bendy and flowy.
I guess I always knew that I was bendy and flowy, but I didn't realize how that could affect my life in such a negative way.
Sometimes you have to be firm and tough to get what you want in life. I need to be more firm and tough in so many different areas of my life. I feel like it isn't really in my nature to be firm so when my soft and loving nature doesn't get me what I want/need I get frustrated and angry. I'm not very good at setting and enforcing boundaries so whenever they get pushed or crossed I get really upset and lash out at the other person for not respecting them. But in actuality I am not respecting them. I am not the one who is enforcing them, so why should other people respect them?
People will treat you how you let them. If you don't allow people to treat you in certain ways, they won't. But how do you stop people from treating you poorly? In the past I have either cut them out of my life completely or I have shut down and taken it until I can't take it anymore and blow up. But there must be a happy medium...??? I actually bought and read a whole book about boundaries - it was actually called "Boundaries." I remember it being a great book and having a lot of great ideas and tips. But of course I never followed through.
I need to do better at 1) setting boundaries and 2) Following through with the boundaries I do set.
Guess I need to reread that book.
It will be next once I finish my Orange Rhino book.
I guess I always knew that I was bendy and flowy, but I didn't realize how that could affect my life in such a negative way.
Sometimes you have to be firm and tough to get what you want in life. I need to be more firm and tough in so many different areas of my life. I feel like it isn't really in my nature to be firm so when my soft and loving nature doesn't get me what I want/need I get frustrated and angry. I'm not very good at setting and enforcing boundaries so whenever they get pushed or crossed I get really upset and lash out at the other person for not respecting them. But in actuality I am not respecting them. I am not the one who is enforcing them, so why should other people respect them?
People will treat you how you let them. If you don't allow people to treat you in certain ways, they won't. But how do you stop people from treating you poorly? In the past I have either cut them out of my life completely or I have shut down and taken it until I can't take it anymore and blow up. But there must be a happy medium...??? I actually bought and read a whole book about boundaries - it was actually called "Boundaries." I remember it being a great book and having a lot of great ideas and tips. But of course I never followed through.
I need to do better at 1) setting boundaries and 2) Following through with the boundaries I do set.
Guess I need to reread that book.
It will be next once I finish my Orange Rhino book.
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