Day 3

I swear I'm going to lose it.

I know that one of my triggers is the way she talks to me. It is so rude and demanding. I know that part of it is that I let her. I know that I let her, in part, because it's such a fight to get her into time out. And part of it - well, it goes along with the first, is that we have to be quiet in the house, and throwing a fit during time out just doesn't work. The other part about this is that I thought it was just a phase and that talking nicely back to her would eventually turn everything around. But it never did that. I was attributing this behavior to her age and let way too much slide. And now I'm so sick and tired of it that I don't talk very nicely back to her. I get rude and short and easily frustrated with her behavior. It makes me not want to be around her at all. And then things get compounded because I'm already extremely annoyed with her behavior.

I need to start looking into dealing with this more.

Ok, I totally blew it. I blew it so bad that there is no denying it. There is no, I "might" have to start over; or I "should" start over. No, there is only go back to start, do not collect $200.

I'm not sure that I will ever get past this first week. I am starting to lose my motivation. But I am also not really working on myself in the way that I need to in order to make this work. And I am not following through the way I was in the beginning to make things easier on myself.


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