Momisms: Hobbies
Part of not going crazy on your kids is making sure that you aren't going crazy yourself. Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) can be really hard for a type A personality and also for someone who likes to stay busy. I't really hard to stay busy all the time as a SAHM (especially as a SAHM in a rural setting with no local family/friends) The bloggersphere of moms tells us it's important to have a schedule and to have friends and to take care of ourselves. But that is really hard to put into practice.
Lets break it down:
A schedule - the say that it's important to have a schedule to keep your sanity. I totally agree. However, when you have little kids, your schedule isn't all that interesting. Wake up, have coffee, watch your kids play inside, have breakfast, watch your kids play outside, have lunch, nap time, watch your kids play outside, watch your kids play inside, dinner, bath, watch your kids play, bedtime - isn't all that great for an adult brain. We have a schedule, it's pretty consistent, but I'm still mind-numbingly bored.
One thing that sort of helps is having a rotating play schedule through out the day. So for example, the morning outside play might be a free-for-all while you (try) to exercise. Morning inside play might be coloring or play-doh. Outside afternoon play might involve water balloons or digging toys or "organized" sports games. Inside afternoon games might involve movie or "school work" or a fun game on the WII/XBox. This at least keeps your brain focusing on different things throughout the day and isn't quite as boring as watching your kids play with the same puzzle three days in a row.
Having friends - this sounds so easy unless you have moved and don't have the support system that you are used to having. I moved very far away from my family and friends and finding new friends is much harder than I expected. For one, I am much older than other moms with kids the same age as mine. For another, I'm not a "local" so breaking into a circle of moms who have been friends for years is really hard. Having on-line friends is the next best thing. Although the problem with on-line friends is that there is no break. It seems like you are constantly available. This can be really helpful when you are going through a tough time, but can be equally as hard when you are the support/rock. It's hard to turn it off and let go. Sometimes it is the only connection to the outside world so consciously letting go of that can be so difficult.
Take Care of Yourself - um. . . ok. So much easier said than done. On top of not having a whole lot of extra time, you also have to have a desire. I think a lot of SAHMs have mild depression. I don't think this is anything new either. In the past, Docs used to prescribe all sorts of things to moms to help them "relax" and unwind. I don't think that mom's of today are any different than mom's of yesterday other than the internet and keeping up with the Jones' means keeping up with 100 Jones' instead of just the one down the street. But the difficulty in maintaining healthy emotional and physical self is still there. We try to manage it a bit differently now, but it seems like most moms still have a really hard time taking care of themselves.
One thing that is super important is exercise. But, when do you find time to get more exercise? Some moms were blessed with those magical sleeping babies and they are able to wake up early and get their exercise in. But I was not blessed with magical sleeping babies so waking up even earlier than they do means that I get even less sleep than my already sleep deprived self is getting. And exercising when the kids are awake becomes a comedy of sorts with 2 minutes on the eliptical with 10 minutes of stopping fights and getting them set-up with another activity. Followed by 1 minute on the eliptical, 2 minutes of stopping a fight, 15 minutes of raising a heart rate due to stress, and no actual exercise getting done.
Where the heck do mom's find the motivation to get anything done when it's so hard to do anything at all? My motivation usually comes at 10pm at night when I am trying to fall asleep. My brain keeps working on super cool ideas but I can't actually do any of them because 1) I really do need to get to sleep and 2) doing anything at all would wake the house up and would mean that nothing would actually get done.
I think that I need to revisit this list later. I can't seem to make any headway on any of it.
Lets break it down:
A schedule - the say that it's important to have a schedule to keep your sanity. I totally agree. However, when you have little kids, your schedule isn't all that interesting. Wake up, have coffee, watch your kids play inside, have breakfast, watch your kids play outside, have lunch, nap time, watch your kids play outside, watch your kids play inside, dinner, bath, watch your kids play, bedtime - isn't all that great for an adult brain. We have a schedule, it's pretty consistent, but I'm still mind-numbingly bored.
One thing that sort of helps is having a rotating play schedule through out the day. So for example, the morning outside play might be a free-for-all while you (try) to exercise. Morning inside play might be coloring or play-doh. Outside afternoon play might involve water balloons or digging toys or "organized" sports games. Inside afternoon games might involve movie or "school work" or a fun game on the WII/XBox. This at least keeps your brain focusing on different things throughout the day and isn't quite as boring as watching your kids play with the same puzzle three days in a row.
Having friends - this sounds so easy unless you have moved and don't have the support system that you are used to having. I moved very far away from my family and friends and finding new friends is much harder than I expected. For one, I am much older than other moms with kids the same age as mine. For another, I'm not a "local" so breaking into a circle of moms who have been friends for years is really hard. Having on-line friends is the next best thing. Although the problem with on-line friends is that there is no break. It seems like you are constantly available. This can be really helpful when you are going through a tough time, but can be equally as hard when you are the support/rock. It's hard to turn it off and let go. Sometimes it is the only connection to the outside world so consciously letting go of that can be so difficult.
Take Care of Yourself - um. . . ok. So much easier said than done. On top of not having a whole lot of extra time, you also have to have a desire. I think a lot of SAHMs have mild depression. I don't think this is anything new either. In the past, Docs used to prescribe all sorts of things to moms to help them "relax" and unwind. I don't think that mom's of today are any different than mom's of yesterday other than the internet and keeping up with the Jones' means keeping up with 100 Jones' instead of just the one down the street. But the difficulty in maintaining healthy emotional and physical self is still there. We try to manage it a bit differently now, but it seems like most moms still have a really hard time taking care of themselves.
One thing that is super important is exercise. But, when do you find time to get more exercise? Some moms were blessed with those magical sleeping babies and they are able to wake up early and get their exercise in. But I was not blessed with magical sleeping babies so waking up even earlier than they do means that I get even less sleep than my already sleep deprived self is getting. And exercising when the kids are awake becomes a comedy of sorts with 2 minutes on the eliptical with 10 minutes of stopping fights and getting them set-up with another activity. Followed by 1 minute on the eliptical, 2 minutes of stopping a fight, 15 minutes of raising a heart rate due to stress, and no actual exercise getting done.
Where the heck do mom's find the motivation to get anything done when it's so hard to do anything at all? My motivation usually comes at 10pm at night when I am trying to fall asleep. My brain keeps working on super cool ideas but I can't actually do any of them because 1) I really do need to get to sleep and 2) doing anything at all would wake the house up and would mean that nothing would actually get done.
I think that I need to revisit this list later. I can't seem to make any headway on any of it.
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