I NEED To Write

For some reason there is nothing that helps me more than writing. There is so much noise swirling around me that I don't have a chance to listen to my own self. I'm constantly being pulled in every direction, listening to everyone else that it's impossible to find time to listen to myself.

When my brain needs a break from all the noise I try to turn my brain off - or give my brain a break - by turning to my phone. But the problem is that I am stuffing more into my brain than actually dumping stuff out. In some ways I NEED my phone for this because I NEED more connection than I am getting in life. But my phone isn't actually allowing me a chance to think for myself. It's not allowing me that ME time that I actually need.

I have been racking my brain for a hobby - something that I can do that is just mine. A chance for me to relax and take a break. But nothing is actually coming to mind. The only thing that seems to keep me even remotely sane is writing. For some reason I'm not listening to myself. Probably because all the noise around me is quieting my own voice. And what I really need is a chance to share my voice. That is why I keep responding to posts on FB - not because I have anything interesting to say, but because I NEED to say SOMETHING.

I'm not really sure this blog is the place for my voice. I guess I haven't really found a niche way that describes what I want to say. Most of what I want to say is just a brain dump. But I guess I'm hoping that something that I say will be beneficial to someone, somewhere; and I'm really hoping that it will end up being a job - something that will allow me to provide for my family financially.

But maybe before I can help anyone else, I need to start with myself. I need to start writing for me and start settling my brain down so I can think clearly about life.


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